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Write a Better Online Personal
Ad
By Tracy Brant at
Dateable.com
If you are going to invest time
or money in using a matchmaking website, you should really pay some attention
to writing a profile that will get you some responses. People will not be
interested in emailing you if you do not do something to make yourself stand
out from the masses of people using personal ads.
I administer several dating websites.
People frequently write in saying, "I never get any replies to my ad." And
when I go look at the ad, I find that they have not filled out the profile,
or added a photo. Who can tell if they want to email you if there is no
information? Not quite as bad, but still ineffective, is a profile that says,
"Email me for details" or "looking for a nice person." You can't bother to
write a paragraph to find the love of your life? Or even a fun date for the
weekend?
Here are some guidelines for writing
effective personal ad blurbs:
INVESTMENT. Decide that this is
worth spending some time on, or don't bother. You wouldn't submit a sloppy
resume, would you? This is about making a good first impression, because
there will be no second chance once someone clicks to the next
ad.
MARKETING. You are marketing
yourself... trying to stand out in a crowd. You are the "product." and the
people you want to meet are your customers. Think about who you want to meet,
and then think about who THEY want to meet! How can you tell them that YOU
are the person they want to meet? Magazine ads, for example, grab your attention,
make you laugh, they make you think "wow, what a great thing... I want to
buy it." They can be short, but pack a punch. If they are long, they tell
a good story. Marketers test their different ad campaigns, and you should,
too. Try placing different ads to see what gets you a better
result.
PREPARATION. Before you log in
anywhere, do some thinking and writing. Don't wait until you are faced with
a blinking cursor to write your blurb. Give serious thought to how you will
describe yourself and the person you hope to find. Write at least two paragraphs,
one about yourself, and one about the person you seek. Ask someone you trust
to read those paragraphs and comment on how well they reflect who you are
and what you want. Save that text to cut and paste into dating website forms.
Have a digital photo or two ready.
OPENING LINES. Use your username...
don't be Bob3456... be PaintBallPrincess or SecretSuperHero or something
else that reflects your sense of humor and yourself. If the ad allows you
a "subject line" also use that well... "Need woman in Atlanta" doesn't cut
it. "Atlanta man on a mission" sounds more interesting. "Atlanta Knight seeks
his Queen" tells a different story about who you are seeking. Use your username
and subject line to hook people into your ad. Use humor, drama, a funky metaphor.
Then, like any good ad, you want to show them you are what they need, show
them why you are unique, and invite them to take action... by emailing
you!
DETAILS. Write in complete sentences.
Spelling and grammar DO count. We have modern tools to help with that. You
want to look like you find this task important enough to spell out the words.
Unless you are 15 years old, writing "If u r inrested n me, wrt 2 me" makes
you LOOK 15 years old. ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING... don't. It is actually
harder to read.
HONESTY. If you are not honest
with yourself and others, you will not find happiness in the personals. Are
you married? You know, people CAN figure that out and will resent the lie
more than the wedding ring. Without making any value judgements, putting
down "married" will not necessarily stop you from finding matches. If you
are just looking for a casual date, don't imply that you are looking for
marriage just to get more email... it wastes everyone's time. If you are
looking for a long-term thing, don't think you can "convince" a casual date
to spend more time with you. You are asking for disappointment. Try completing
this sentence: "In a year, I'd like to see us doing...."
STRINGS. Guys, I see many you
making a crucial mistake in your profiles. You will find that women are seldom
looking for a "no strings relationship." There simply is no such thing...
if it is a relationship, it has strings of SOME sort. If you don't want strings,
you are looking for an escort service. Women of any description can find
casual physical relationships without lifting a finger to a keyboard. Don't
lie, but think about which "strings" are okay with you. "Seeking Torrid Summer
Romance" is fine and honest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get married.
I want to have a regular date for parties and cookouts with my friends."
Ladies, this counts for you, too. If your personal ad sounds like you might
be offering paid sexual services, you are going to get some rude offers.
You might avoid phrases like, "looking for a wealthy man with good taste
in jewelry."
BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever
really dated someone just for their eye color? OK, maybe you have spectacular
eyeballs. But ads tend to reel off personal stats... and then stop there,
as though there were nothing but a body. Most personal sites let you click
things to describe your eyes, hair, and height... don't waste valuable profile
space on your hair. Talk about who you are first, and what you look like
at the end. Want to know the number one thing surveyed women look for in
a guy? A sense of humor.
AVOID NEGATIVES. This is not the
place to list all the things that drove you crazy about your ex and how you
won't put up with that again. Don't list what you don't want... discuss what
you DO want. Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives, not obstacles.
Workaholic? Try, "My career keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a
flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day adventures." Frugal to a fault?
Try "I find it amusing to squeeze a nickel 'til it screams... help me research
for my web column "CheapDates for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard
your children as an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I hope
to find someone that will enjoy the attention of a warm family
circle."
POST A PHOTO. Website statistics
show that an ad with a photo is 80% more likely to get a response. A photo
that shows you relaxed and having fun, no matter what you look like, is even
better. Don't use a photo that isn't current.. it isn't worth looking so
insecure, or being rejected later. Don't rush to ask for a photo... you may
look like a "pic trader," someone who is collecting photos rather than looking
for a real date. Don't stress about your looks... attraction is about more
than looks. Yes, we often are first attracted to someone by looks, when we
meet in person. But on the Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get
the chance to meet in person.
LIFE STAGES. People often say
that "age" is not as important as "life stage." Where are you in your life?
Just starting out in a new career? Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting?
Exploring new interests? These are things that matter. Talk about what is
important in your life. "I am established in my career and now turning my
attention to the great books I never had time to read." "I moved to this
state for a job after college, and I am looking for dates with a lot of
outdoors-loving friends to help me build a sporty new social
circle."
FAVORITE THINGS. Listing ALL your
favorite things is dizzying.. Choose one good example and talk about why
you like it. Choose something that gives the reader an insight into what
you enjoy. You want people to be able to spot things you have in common,
but also feel that there is something new and interesting to learn about
you. Interest them in learning more with a "teaser" about something fascinating
about you. Ask a question for them to answer in the reply
email.
RULES. Never... NEVER include
your last name, phone number or address. Observe the rules of the various
websites... some do not allow you to post web addresses or email addresses.
Many prohibit crude language or sexual references. Getting your ad removed
by breaking rules is a waste of time.
So... let your personality be
shown in a tasteful way, take the time to do a good job, and have a good
photo. Those things alone will put you far ahead of the misspelled anonymous
pack. Best of luck!
© Dateable.com LLC 2002
___________________
About the author: Tracy Brant is a freelance writer and an editor at
Dateable.com. She can be contacted at
tracy@dateable.com.
Dateable.com is an exciting online community for singles, couples and romance
lovers. Dateable.com has romantic resources, advice, poetry, greeting cards,
and more. Dateable.com also features specialty matchmaking services. Whether
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